I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
