This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
