ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
