i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
