And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
