Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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