...so i touched it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
