Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
