That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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