Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
