they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
