Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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