you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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