please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize