My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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