Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
