Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize