Nicole vs. Life
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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