the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
