she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
