He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
