I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
