i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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