He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
