I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
