It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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