Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
