You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
