talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
