The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
