soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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