"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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