just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
