office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
