a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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