i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
