We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
