I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
