at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
