Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
