My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
