guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
