i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
