My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
