Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
