what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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