please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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