I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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