Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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