So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
