and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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