I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
