he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize