and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
