If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
