uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
