Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
