Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your cock deserves a montage
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
