I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
