Whod you bang
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
