if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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