I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
