Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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